- ***I usually don't reblog anything at all but this is too great not to. Happened to me and my friend Tara while we were taking a smoke break at bartending school tonight. Too clear up confusion, she wrote this so the Me in the dialogue is her, I'm Megs.
- Random Drunk: (a minute or two of incoherent babble while Megs & I stare at him puzzled) You gotta understand a little humor to be a bartender. You'll never make it. You don't have the personality.
- Me: (LOLing and nodding) Huh?
- Random Drunk: You're in the school for the bartending?
- Megs: Yup.
- Me: Mmhmm.
- Random Drunk: Do the opposite of everything they tell you. It's all about personality.
- Megs: (wtfgiggles)
- Me: (wtfgiggles)
- Random Drunk: They're all (makes a series of silly faces & gestures to indicate what I would assume is a strict, staunch person). You gotta be fun. (stumbles) Like that...you just say "Hey baby..." (stumbles on purpose and takes up a sing-song tone) and theeey fall in looove with yooou.
- Me: (wtfgiggles smh)
- Megs: (wtfgiggles)
- Random Drunk: Do the opposite of everything they tell you. That's my tip. Will you guys do me a favor?
- Megs: What?
- Me: What's that?
- Random Drunk: Get a pen.
- Me: (all but facepalms, thinking "is he really gonna"?)
- Megs: (wtfgiggles)
- Random Drunk: (sing-song again, accompanied by a little dance) Phoooone Nuuuumbeeers! That's how you make your tips!
- Me: (facepalm)
- Megs: (wtf this guy is creepy giggles)
- Random Drunk: I have panic attacks when I'm sober. I'm afraid to talk to people.
- Megs: Yeah? Me too.
- Me: Oh yeah, I hear ya.
- Random Drunk: How's the guy that teaches? Is he an asshole?
- Megs: No, he's actually really cool.
- Me: Yeah, they're all pretty great. They're all bartenders. Laid back...they know what they're doing.
- Random Drunk: Well I just wanted to give you a tip. Do the opposite of everything they tell you.
- Megs; (laughs) Okay.
- Me: (laughs) Haha...alright.
- Random Drunk: (walking away & then stopping) Hey, you never got my name.
- Me: Okay, what's your name?
- Random Drunk: (sing-song as he starts to walk away) Diiiiildoooo...
- Megs: What the fuck? Did he just say his name was "Dildo"?
- Me: (facepalming, turning my head away in shame and clonking it hard as hell off the railing I'm sitting next to) Mmhmm.





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